About Before the Baby

Hey, I'm Charlie — former BYU mascot, author, and LCSW.

My husband Ryan and I are a gay couple living in Utah, navigating faith, family, and everything in between. Right now, we’re in the middle of one of the biggest things we’ve ever done: trying to have a biological child through IVF and surrogacy.

This Substack is where I’m documenting all of it. Not the highlight reel — the real thing. The decisions that kept us up at night, the financial reality nobody talks about, the medical process we knew nothing about, the emotional weight of wanting something this much. And yes, the joy too. Because there is so much joy!

Major milestones will show up on Instagram. But this is where I’ll share what’s actually happening, the unfiltered details, the things that don’t fit in a caption, the parts of this journey that deserve more space than a post allows.

If you’ve ever wondered what this process looks like for a gay couple, or if this is something you might want someday, I’m going to show it as honestly as I can.

Some posts are free. The more personal ones are for paid subscribers, and your support goes directly toward helping us pay for fertility treatments. Which still feels a little surreal to say out loud.

We’re so glad you’re here.

— Charlie (& Ryan)

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For the cost of a Utah soda run each month, you can support our future baby fund and get access to the more personal, unfiltered posts we keep just for subscribers. Come be part of the story!